Ever notice how if the weather has been really nice, say, in the 70's, and suddenly it turns 50 degrees and everyone is freezing? But if we had been experiencing 30 degree weather, a 50 degree day would warrant flip flops! The same goes with my life. Before I decided to stay home with Corbin, my life was a constant GO, GO, GO! Being a teacher meant I never stopped working. The gears never stopped turning. And my brain never shut off. I was beginning to think my life now was boring and mundane, and I started really missing the GO, GO, GO of working.
Then the proverbial rug got pulled out from beneath me...
Last Tuesday, I was getting ready to go with my husband to a work meeting over our new health insurance plan. It was already turning into one of those moments where I felt the irritability rising up in me. Corbin was teething and fussy, I was dreading the long, boring meeting with an infant, I didn't want to drive in rush-hour traffic to and from Nashville...I just didn't want to go. But I was going to go anyway. I had clipped Corbin's nails and for the first time in forever, nipped his thumb. I don't know if you've ever cut a baby's nails before, but a.) it's impossibly arduous and cumbersome, and b.) if you do nip them, they bleed like you cut their whole little finger off. Actually, the saying, "Bled like a stuck pig" should be recoined to "Bled like a nipped baby finger." Anyways, I was running to get a bandage for his finger, barefoot of course, and wouldn't you know I kicked the leg of my coffee table full-speed. I've done this a hundred times, and this time didn't even hurt that badly. Until I looked down. My toe was bent at a 45 degree angle...
...to the right.
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| Broken middle toe :( (Red from the ice) |
It wasn't minutes later that my whole toe was swollen twice its size and the top of my foot turned purple. I couldn't bare any weight on it and even putting on a sock was excruciating. "THAT'S IT," I said, "I'm not going to your stupid meeting."
Josh, clearly agitated by the fact that he couldn't show off his precious babe at the meeting (Corbin, not me), left while I laid on the couch with a bag of ice on my throbbing foot. 20 minutes later, he was back, obviously feeling the guilt of being less-than compassionate about my critical injury.
And this isn't even the worst part. He had been home less than 15 minutes when his cell rang. It was his sister, in hysterics, saying their mom had gotten into a four-wheeler accident and we needed to get over there. We don't always take what she says seriously, or literally for that matter, but when other members of the family started calling, we realized it was serious. Long story short, Josh's mom and dad were riding a four-wheeler without helmets, when she turned onto the asphalt from ground, and wound up spinning the back-end around and flipped it over. His dad was thrown into a ditch, his mom landed underneath the four-wheeler...on her head.
She was life-flighted to Vanderbilt where she spent the next five days in the ICU and trauma unit for a fractured skull, swelling and bleeding around the brain, and three fractured ribs. Her memory was spotty, her speech was muddled, and she acted very confused.
Through lots of prayer and a great medical team, she is home now. Her speech is clear and she remembers everything except the actual accident. She has an incredible headache and a gnarly case of whiplash, but she is going to be great! Praise the Lord! God had His hand over her. It could've been much, much worse.
During this time, I struggled with a lot of thing internally. I struggled with wanting to feel sorry for myself while staying home with Corbin day and night while Josh was at the hospital. I struggled with trying to not complain much about my broken toe/foot which made it hard to get around. I struggled with my belief that God answers our prayers. The last one I actually had been working through for a while. I'm sure many of you heard of Lane Goodwin, the boy from Kentucky with cancer who everyone was giving a "thumbs up" to on Facebook. My faith was shaken when he passed away. I questioned why God didn't answer his parents' prayers to heal him, why God couldn't use his healing as a modern-day miracle, and if praying really did any good at all. I found my own peace about it through lots of conversations, research, and prayer. I won't share my beliefs on that whole situation, because who knows if I'm right or wrong. All I know is, I found peace. And I had peace the whole time Josh's mom was in the hospital. And I was very adamant about remaining positive and speaking only positive and uplifting things over her.
I think God allowed my faith to be shaken for a season because He knew this would bring me closer to Him. He knew I wouldn't settle for vapid responses from people who really didn't know the answer, either. He knew I'd find my peace. And I truly believe He did all this because He knew I'd need to be strong for Josh and his family that week. He used me to help minister, support, and encourage. Even as I sit here writing this, I am amazed as I reflect back on how these events unfolded and what it did to me as a person. All I can say is, I serve an awesome God.
So, aside from all the injuries/drama associated with last week, there were also some light-hearted tidbits. We finally painted the walls in the living room and dining room (yay!), I completed all my Pinterest projects/crafts (yay!), and I got Corbin's 6 month pictures scheduled and planned (yay!).
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| Coffee Filter Wreath |
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| Wall Hanging |
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Wall color before... (notice the coffee table is GONE?!)
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| Painting our 20ish foot walls... |
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| Dining room after |
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| Living room after |
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| Hallway after |
Sometimes going to the mailbox feels like an accomplishment for the day. Other times, it's making it through a family crisis. Today was a going-to-the-mailbox kinda day. Which is alright with me. I could use a little boring in my life right now. So bring on the 50 degree weather - I'm wearing my flip flops!
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| Blessed :) |
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